A meditation on life, death, and luck

Queen Anne’s Lace swaying in a late July breeze, two miles of traffic creeping along at a snail’s pace, and a lemon-yellow butterfly dipping and tasting wildflowers along the interstate. On any other day, at any other time, the butterfly would find herself smashed against the grill of a car or perhaps the shield of a motorcyclist’s helmet. But today, at this very moment, she floats and glides between rows of cars that cannot move as fast as she is flying. …

It’s not impressive and eventually you’ll drop the ball

My ex used to brag about his juggling abilities all the time. Now mind you, he was not juggling something cool like flaming torches, chainsaws, or knives — but something even more dangerous — debt.

He juggled his bills like a pro. Month after month, he was able to somehow make two paychecks cover six bills, or eight or ten. …

Mine wasn’t — but I didn’t realize it for a long time

In April of 2020 I moved out of the house I shared with my husband and children and into a brand new life. Overnight, my expenses doubled, and for the first time in eighteen years I was paying all of the bills myself. Unfortunately my income did not double along with my expenses, and for a few months I was doing anything and everything to keep my head above water.

I would like to be able to tell you that the financial struggle I faced through most of…

Is my love enough for my daughter?

Tomorrow is Father’s Day. Even though I plan on celebrating by visiting my own dad, I’m trying not to make a big deal of the holiday this year because I don’t want to make my youngest daughter feel bad if my ex doesn’t spend much time with her.

My daughter has only mentioned her dad once in the three weeks since he last saw her. Until two months ago, we shared physical custody and she stayed at his house half of the time —but no more. He has decided that he really doesn’t…

Short answer. You shouldn’t.

Some jobs are very straightforward. You pour the drinks, make the burritos, deliver the mail, or answer the phone. You know what you are supposed to do; the stream of requests never ends; and your job doesn’t significantly change from the day you get there until the day you quit. You can easily stay decades in this type of job without ever having to think about jazzing it up or reinventing yourself. I’ve worked many of these type of jobs in my lifetime and they are comforting in their own way.

At least you always know…

I grew up during the 1970’s and 80’s on a farm in rural Kentucky. Both of my grandmothers were excellent cooks and I came to expect tables laden with hearty stick-to-your-ribs food at every meal.

For breakfast you might have rolled biscuits, homemade doughnuts, bowls of breakfast rice swimming in butter and sugar, and smoked sausage from the smokehouse just beyond the backyard.

The midday meal was called dinner (not like at school where we ate lunch) and might consist of pork tenderloin or short-ribs, turnip or collard greens cooked down with bits of bacon and onions, plates of sliced…

Daisies are my favorite flower, but not for any reason that has to do with the actual flower itself. The daisies are merely a reminder of a truck stop memento my dad gave me when I was probably nine or ten years old. It was really nothing — a laminated 4x5 card with a picture of daisies on it and black lettering telling me that if I believed in myself anything was possible.

Most kids would have probably taken one look at it, tossed it aside, and then ran outside to play. But for some reason, that little laminated picture…

People in our lives will always disappoint us. They will show their most human sides at the most inopportune moments. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that — none of us are perfect. We can and should forgive when the situation calls for it, if for no other reason than to give ourselves practice in being a decent and compassionate person.

But there is a difference between someone not living up to an ideal we had of them and someone who is not what they appear to be at all. There is a difference in finding out about an incident…