How Life Really Works

The art of trusting your gut and the universe

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

I recently went through a break-up with a man who ended our long-distance relationship because he couldn’t imagine a scenario in which we could bridge the obstacle of distance. He couldn’t imagine the “how”. In all honesty, as he explained his dilemma, I kept thinking to myself that his approach was completely backwards and not the way I think about life at all.

He explained that since he works in the tech industry and lives in a part of the country where his skills are in higher demand, that he could not possibly move to be with me. Never mind that he works remotely and has for the past two years and that the majority of his team lives overseas — he is convinced that all tech companies will soon require everyone to come back into the office.

He also decided that he could not ask me to move to him because I have a young child who spends half her time with her father (in my city). Again, this is something that my ex-husband and I could work out if I were motivated to do so. What made this entire argument more mystifying is that a year ago, when I was still renting and openly discussing the decision to rent or buy a house, he encouraged me to buy the house I now live in, thus making it more difficult for me to move.

I listened to his concerns and let him go without a fight. To me the solution was simple — decide what you want, follow your gut and the details will work themselves out. I knew that if we were both committed, the solution would present itself because in my life experience, that is how it has always worked for me.

But I let him go because I realized that if he had to see the proof before he took the leap, then our relationship was doomed. Life doesn’t work like that. Once you take the leap, you’ll figure out how to fly.

I know that many people live their lives like my ex-boyfriend. They think in completely rational and logical ways and in some circumstances that serves them well. However, I have found that trusting my gut and following my instincts in truly important matters has always served me well, creating near-miraculous situations that I could have never orchestrated on my own. I have also found that when I ignore the gut feelings, things often turn out poorly.