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How Much Should You Share with Your Abusive Ex’s New Person?
Where does your responsibility end?
When I was twenty-four, I escaped from my abuser, who was also my high school boyfriend and first husband. I had endured years of psychological torture, physical, emotional and mental abuse. At one point, he held a loaded gun to my head. Before, during, and after our marriage, he had a number of restraining orders issued against him, most of which I knew nothing about until after our divorce.
I filed for divorce and fled to another state. Within six months, my ex was remarried. Hearing that was a punch to the gut — but not because I had feelings for him or was jealous. I felt horrible for his new wife because she had no idea what was in store for her or what I had gone through. I was also very angry that he was allowed to just get married again and go on with his life without facing any consequences for what he had done to me. Finally, I felt guilty for leaving without filing official criminal complaints against him. I had just wanted to forget about him and start a new life, but by leaving I had left the door open for another unwitting woman to be abused.
It didn’t take long for the new wife to seek help. My sister is a hairdresser, and one day she noticed an appointment on her calendar with a familiar last name. My ex accompanied his new wife to that…
