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Why Not to Become a Hermit — Yet

4 min readJun 1, 2025

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One perspective on the purpose and result of relationships

Photo by Luwadlin Bosman on Unsplash

Before our birth, we are already in relationship with our mother. We float inside her body; her heartbeat and voice create the soundtrack of our preborn lives. Her food and habits affect us on a cellular level. As soon as we are born, other relationships start to form for better or worse. We are born into families, institutions, organizations, religions, social groups, communities, countries and so on. If you are reading this today, then someone must have cared for you — even if only your physical needs — or else you would not have survived.

We are one of many, yet sometimes painfully alone. Ever since the umbilical cord was cut, we had to rely on those around us to include us in relationships until we could start to create them on our own. Is there any more painful experience than being rejected by someone we wish to befriend? Is there anything worse than being left out of the group? Or having a lover say it’s over?

We continue to seek that reassuring heartbeat our entire lives. We make friends, we join clubs, we play and fight with siblings, we visit grandparents, we date, we hook-up, we marry. We create families. We create community. We invite people over for dinner. We adopt pets. We adopt children. We hold family reunions. Our relationships are in constant flux. Sometimes…

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